ModernTuba http://moderntuba.com Modern tuba for modern music—and more! posterous.com Mon, 19 Sep 2011 23:16:00 -0700 ♥ ☆ ∞ love . humanity . metamorphosis ♥ ☆ ∞ http://moderntuba.com/love-humanity-metamorphosis http://moderntuba.com/love-humanity-metamorphosis

I imagine that if this were the beginning of a movie, the opening would be like this:

 

The truth is, that's exactly how it felt for me ... like we were embarking on this glorious action-packed adventure with thrilling romance and great heroism. It was all that and so much more, but it all happened so differently than I envisioned.

Sure, I could go on at great length about the extraordinary amount of hard work, the incredible contributions of all the talented musicians, the ingenuity and brilliance of our producer, the unbelievable response from all 184 of those who contributed to the Kickstarter campaign, etc., etc., but in the end it all amounted to what was, for me, a profoundly moving and life-changing experience.

 

Melissaaxelpaintingwebbylauriemaves

 

When Melissa and I began making this album, I knew I wanted it to sound great and be well-received by listeners, critics, peers, and other industry professionals. What I didn't realize was how going through this experience would finally help me realize exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. The missing piece of my puzzle was finally found, and suddenly everything made sense.

I am incredibly proud of this record, and I hope you'll explore it. Wherever it goes, and whatever it accomplishes, it will always remind me of who I was and who I'm becoming. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a direction, following my heart. Maybe it's foolish ... but as Obi-Wan once said, "Who's the more foolish, the fool? or the fool who follows him?"

I hope you'll follow me in following dreams.

http://music.melissaaxel.com


Melissaaxelalbumcover

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Fri, 06 May 2011 10:02:00 -0700 Measures Of Rest http://moderntuba.com/measures-of-rest http://moderntuba.com/measures-of-rest
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Tuesday night I finished another year stint playing with the Metro State Community Concert Band. Although the band is considered a class for students who don't make it into one of the audition-based ensembles, it is also an open opportunity for members of the community to join in, thus filling out the ranks with wind players, many of whom don't have any other outlet for reading and performing music.

Despite the odd combination of young collegians, working age adults, middle agers, and a handful of geriatrics, it works in a charming way. Some are better than others, so the quality can be inconsistent, but we have a good time reading. Our director is a hoot to work with and picks music that is challenging and entertaining. Twice each semester we perform in the King Center on campus.

The other tuba player is an octogenarian named Virgil, the oldest tuba player in Denver as noted at a recent Tuba Christmas event, and he is a collector of rare instruments, an enthusiast of Civil War era music, leader of the Denver Ophicleide Association, a fine woodworker, and a music historian among other things. He's a delight to play alongside, even though he's more a tuba hobbyist than a player (he told me once his principal instrument is the clarinet).

This semester, Virgil put together an ensemble of hurdy gurdy players and commissioned an arrangement to have them play with the band at our end of year concert. It was called "Hurdy Gurdy Fantasy," but I referred to it simply as Measures Of Rest.

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Measures Of Rest is a collection of folk tunes meant to invoke the spirit of the lirnyky buskers of 19th century Eastern Europe, so naturally our performance would have been incomplete without folk dancers, slide whistles, funny hats, wood blocks, and other silly shenanigans—not to mention the almost-but-never-quite-completely-in-tune droning of the hurdy gurdys themelves. It was an odd performance and a trial to sit through.

Perhaps I would have enjoyed it better had there actually been something to play. Instead, it was an exercise in patience as I counted out measure after measure after measure of rests.

In fact, it was customary for me to tweet about Measures Of Rest while we were in the middle of performing it, as there was not much else to do. One time, I actually worked out the finer details:

* There are 229 measures of music, none of them up-tempo.
* I actually play for 20 of them, broken up over three sections that are nowhere near each other.
* At its longest stretch, I have 116 measures of rest in a row where section G repeats three times (prime time for tweeting).
* By the end my participation equaled a staggering 8.7%, meaning I was doing nothing for 91.3% of the piece.

Measures_of_rest

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I'd like to be able to say I used this time to ponder the mysteries of the universe and its message about patience, the importance of slowing down to smell the roses, or some such psychobabble, but the hard truth is I spent it being bored. Heck, it was all I could do to stop myself from tweeting a photo of the concert while we were in the middle of the song. I can't even find a way to tie it into its deeper meaning and broader implications in this very intellectual blog post.

And to top it off, with Virgil playing hurdy gurdy mastermind, he wasn't able to play tuba, which left me as the only tuba player for the entire evening. Sure, I was happy to show off my new Jupiter (for our fun finale song, the tuba section—in this case only me—had to stand and play for a minute), but it felt awfully lonely.

Still, the concert was another fun romp with the concert-band-that-could, and I hope I'm able to make it out next year, even if there are more measures of rest.

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Oh, there is no rousing ending to this story. Like the hurdy gurdy tune, it just sort of ... ends. Oh well!

 

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Sat, 16 Apr 2011 18:50:00 -0700 ModernTuba Video of the Week! 04162011 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-04162011 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-04162011

Every wedding deserves to be crashed by a group chaotically playing DIxieland music as they march unexpectedly around the reception hall.

I humbly submit the following as the ModernTuba Video of the Week!

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Mon, 21 Mar 2011 11:17:00 -0700 ModernTuba Video of the Week! 032111 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-032111 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-032111

I don't know why this exists, but cutting edge topical humor and the beauteous tones of tuba combine here to remind us there are YouTube videos other than Rebecca Black's "Friday" video. Having said that, I humbly submit the following as the ModernTuba Video of the Week! (May the universe have mercy on your poor soul.)

Bonus points given for the Price Is Right effect at the very end.

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Thu, 17 Mar 2011 11:25:00 -0700 ModernTuba Video of the Week! (Irish Edition) 03.17.2011 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-irish-edition-03 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-irish-edition-03

For those of you who missed the memo, St. Patrick's Day is the 17th of March every year, not last Saturday and Sunday as you might've thought given by how many people pranced around in green, attended parades, and drank green things at local pubs. I don't think the world is ready for a week-long celebration of all things Irish when that celebration seems focused on giving folks the excuse to get smashed on beer and act obnoxious in the streets.

Having said that, I'd like to honor my Irish roots (of which I am approximately one-quarter) by submitting the following video as the ModernTuba Video of the Week! The sound on this one is a bit low, so you'll have to turn your volume up, I'm afraid.

I hope you enjoyed listening to Ben Roundtree playing Hornpipe for Tuba and Strings as much as I did, especially since the audience seemed entirely uninterested. Then again, I was almost two minutes into the video before I noticed they were all signing to one another.

 

As an added bonus, here's Das Miraphone Tuba Quartett beautifully performing Londonderry Air, including a bit o' "Danny Boy" for good measure. Happy St. Patrick's Day!


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Tue, 15 Mar 2011 08:00:00 -0700 How to Quit MySpace in 10 Irritating Steps! http://moderntuba.com/how-to-quit-myspace-in-10-irritating-steps http://moderntuba.com/how-to-quit-myspace-in-10-irritating-steps

It should come as a surprise to no one that MySpace just hasn't been relevant for years. The best bit of professional advice I've heard recently regarding this social networking fossil was to either jump all in and be entirely committed to maintaining it as part of your social footprint or cancel your account outright. There was, I was told, no middle ground.

It should be needless to say, but I chose the latter.

Remarkably, it was an easy decision to make. I can count on one hand how many times I've logged into MySpace in the last three years, and every time I have, I've been disappointed. Yes, I was definitely ready to go.

Not that MySpace didn't work hard to keep me, mind you. Here are the hoops for those of you willing to just say "no" …

How To Quit MySpace In 10 Irritating Steps:
  • Step 1: Log in to your Myspace account. If you're like me, it could take a while to remember which e-mail address and password you used. Be patient.
  • Step 2: Upgrade your MySpace account to the new profile (otherwise you can't even edit your account, much less cancel it). If you've done this already, because at one point you misguidedly considered keeping your account active, skip this step.
  • Step 3: Click on the Edit Profile button.
  • Step 4: Under the Account Settings & Privacy heading, click Cancel Account. At this point you'd think the easy end is right around the corner, wouldn't you?
  • Step 5: Click the button that reads Cancel Account. I know you think you just did this, but keep being patient.
  • Step 6: Choose the button that best describes your reason for wanting to cancel the account. MySpace has graciously provided four options, none of which are Irrelevant or Slimy. Instead, the 4 options are Bored, Spam, Privacy, and E-Mail. According to them, by clicking one of those buttons, You can really help us improve Myspace! Once you have made your selection, it will automatically take you to the next step.
  • Step 7: In this example, I have pressed Bored, only to be met by a message from MySpace attempting to woo me back by providing links where I can discover some "cool stuff" (presumably so I would no longer be bored). I must now again press a Cancel Account button to continue.
  •  Step 8: Click the button that reads Cancel Account. I know you think you just did this, but keep being patient. Again.
  • Step 9: Read the friendly box explaining that if you cancel your account, all of your information, data, photos, videos, messages, etc. will be permanently and irretrievably removed … forever. MySpace has graciously provided a box for your comments. You must leave a comment before continuing to the next step. (I recommend leaving a funny one.)
  • Step 10: Now, once your comment has been entered, you must again press … wait for itCancel Account to continue. At this point, there's a real sense of closure settling in. Surely, this must be the end. After all, this is Step 10, right?
  • Step 11: Wrong. Now you are informed that a confirmation e-mail is being sent to the account's e-mail address. You must navigate to your e-mail and click that confirmation to complete the cancellation of your account. Do so. (The screen actually says "Thank you" at this point. Still, praying wouldn't hurt.)
  • Step 12: You have finally crossed the threshold, the end is in sight! Now you have only to confirm your e-mail address and press Cancel Account for the very last time, and then you will be free!
  • Step 13: Well, free after the 48-hour waiting period, of course. Keep being patient.

Photo

Congratulations! You have now deleted your MySpace account!
Who else among us is brave enough to follow?

 

 

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Wed, 09 Mar 2011 13:06:00 -0800 One Tuba in a Sea of Guitars: DSE California 2011 http://moderntuba.com/45133871 http://moderntuba.com/45133871

Just returned last week from attending the Durango Songwriter's Expo in Santa Ynez Valley, California (just N of Santa Barbara). At this expo, 150-200 songwriters gather together to mingle with each other, network with industry professionals and get direct feedback on material, write more songs, jam endlessly into the wee hours, and perform in front of the group if chosen for a showcase slot.

The DSE is held twice annually, once in California during February and again outside of Denver in October. This was the fourth in a row that Melissa Axel and I have attended, and it was the best one yet.

What exactly does a tuba player do at a songwriter's expo? Well, play tuba, of course!

Apart from playing the kick-off party open mic the night before the expo began, Melissa was also chosen for a showcase performance during the opening night festivities. We played her song "The Worth Of Things," which went over quite well—happy to have had the opportunity! It's always an interesting experience for me when I play into a mic, but the sound in the room was great. (For lack of a piano, she was relegated to playing on a weighted keyboard. If only they'd move the lobby piano into the hall and onto the stage!)

The second night, singer-songwriter Andy Ard asked fellow musician Tage Plantell and me to sit in for his showcase performance, and the three of us had a hoot playing Andy's "Here Comes Another Good Time" to the audience. He's also asked me to play on this song when he records it later this year.

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After the showcases there's an open mic which we'd wander in and out of. In addition, there were plenty of impromptu jams in the resort lobby, as well as packed song circles in crowded hotel rooms. The advantage to being the only tuba player at an expo overrun by guitarist singer/songwriters is that they are usually more than happy to have a tubist sit in and play with them. (Special props to Ron Gozzo who brought out his sax!)

Ultimately, the driving force of the expo is the listening session: basically, twenty or so songwriters sit in a room, each plays a demo or finished recording of a song for a couple of industry professionals, and everyone takes note of their feedback and suggestions (pictured below). Pros come in all shapes and sizes, but many of them are music supervisors, label execs, successful hit songwriters, publishers, and management. This time, we were sharing nearly completed recordings from Melissa Axel's debut album, and it was exciting to see a lot of these folks really impressed with the songs. There are also panel discussions on various music industry topics, and we attended the ones on Film & TV Placement (pictured below) and DIY.

Overall, we had a great time seeing old friends and making new ones. Can't wait for the next one this October!

 

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Sun, 06 Mar 2011 13:15:45 -0800 ModernTuba Video of the Week! 030611 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-030611 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-030611 Back by popular demand (and over a week's worth of travel), it's time for the ModernTuba Video of the Week!

This week we feature a clip from The Price Is Right during which host Drew Carey proudly declares, "If you want to start the party up with some models ... play some tuba music!"

I hereby submit the following as the ModernTuba video of the week!

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Tue, 22 Feb 2011 00:32:03 -0800 Travelin' Tuba part one—the case. http://moderntuba.com/travelin-tuba-part-onethe-case http://moderntuba.com/travelin-tuba-part-onethe-case

P147

Traveling with an instrument this size can be interesting and … challenging.

Take my Yamaha YBB-103 for example. It's ideal for my travel because its 3/4 size makes it easier to lug around. The tough part was finding a hard travel-ready case so I could flight check it as luggage.

As you can tell, it doesn't quite fit.

After an exhaustive search for the appropriate model, I had to settle for something built for a larger instrument and compensate with bubble wrap and more to keep it secure.

There's even a small Scooby Doo beach ball in the bell to keep it from lurching forward and striking the front of the case.

Once I've locked it shut, it's quite sturdy and safe. It weighs approximately 45 lbs, so it can usually get through baggage check without paying abnormally large fees—just the normally large ones. Thankfully it has wheels.

But, friends, it's always a crap shoot. It usually takes some negotiation because of its unusual and bulky size.

Tomorrow I fly out with Melissa Axel for the Durango Songwriters Expo in beautiful Santa Ynez Valley in California, with some gigs along the way. It's my first time flying this case United, and I'm nervous.

Keep your fingers crossed, and stay tuned!

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Mon, 14 Feb 2011 10:00:00 -0800 ModernTuba logo revealed! http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-logo-revealed http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-logo-revealed
What can I say about my friend Dave Hedin? Well, apart from being an immensely talented songwriter (please download his Rock project for free right NOW at http://music.bravingtheatlantic.com) and a really great guy, he's also a hell of a graphic designer.

When I asked him if he'd be willing to create a design for ModernTuba.com that reflected the sort of EPCOT-esque retro '50s sci-fi look I envisioned, he came up with this logo, and I love it.

Moderntubaclrclear

Here's a close-up of what I like to call Tuba Planet, complete with a flying saucer on its way to spread tuba joy throughout the cosmos:
Moderntubalogogoldblue

I'll soon begin incorporating this design all over the place, including this tublog, my new business cards, a forehead tattoo, and anywhere my friend Banksy and I can get away with without getting caught and arrested.

What do you think?

 

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Sun, 13 Feb 2011 14:02:00 -0800 ModernTuba Video of the Week! 021311 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-021311 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-021311

To celebrate the release of the new Lady Gaga single "Born This Way" I hereby submit the following as the ModernTuba video of the week! (Also, I appreciate that he decided not to use "Tuba Weekly" and steal my thunder!)

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Sat, 05 Feb 2011 19:19:00 -0800 ModernTuba Video of the Week! 020511 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-020511 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-020511

In an effort to promote the true ModernTuba spirit of using the tuba in interesting and creative new ways, I hereby submit the following as the ModernTuba video of the week:


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Tue, 01 Feb 2011 11:51:00 -0800 Vinyl vs. CD http://moderntuba.com/vinyl-vs-cd http://moderntuba.com/vinyl-vs-cd
There was an ongoing debate about the merits of CD sound vs. vinyl over at a Tangerine Dream mailing list. There were valid points on both sides, but no one seemed to bring up the elephant in the room: does CD even have any life-span left?

So I fashioned this response, partly to squeeze in my predictions about CD's future, partly to give my take on why vinyl might be here to stay, and partly to respond to the idea people liked of including a CD copy of an album with the vinyl so the consumer can get the best of both worlds:

CDs are quickly becoming irrelevant as the digital era moves ever closer to figuring itself out. In our case, the next CD we release (scheduled for April or May) might possibly be the last. Future releases will likely be digital and vinyl with download codes included. (We will be releasing vinyl with download codes this year, as well as CDs.) At this point, CDs are mostly useful as musical business cards and handy merch at live shows. Throwing a CD in with the record is a waste of a manufacturing investment.

The slow media movement is gaining popularity right now, as people increasingly appreciate the tactile experience of playing a record—few of them are motivated by the fidelity argument—but they also want a quick and easy way to store and listen to music. The #1 reason people purchase CDs is to listen to it in their vehicle, but as more and more cars adopt ways to play digitally from a device (or otherwise), that reason will be going away.

Most consumers do not understand there's a loss in quality from ripping/downloading music as low quality MP3s, so they will notice the difference when they listen to the same album on vinyl in comparison. Also, they appreciate album art on a whole new level with vinyl, so don't be surprised if there's a return to more iconic artwork on album covers as a result.

My two cents, at least.

Please continue reading the comments for some additional thoughts!

Td_records

(Just a fraction of my vinyl TD collection shown above)

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Mon, 31 Jan 2011 18:39:00 -0800 Some videos from the recording process! http://moderntuba.com/some-videos-from-the-recording-process http://moderntuba.com/some-videos-from-the-recording-process

For the last nine months, I have been deep into recording Melissa Axel's debut record. I've participated as a tuba player, as a co-writer on a song (for which I also sang background vocals), as a production assistant, as an executive producer, and [very briefly] as an assistant engineer.

It has been one of the greatest experiences of my life.

On Friday we finally wrapped up the recording, and this week it is being mixed. Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about it! We are just weeks away from the final product (and vinyl will be on its way). The album has gorgeous vocals and beautiful piano, sweeping strings, rockin' tunes, intimate songs, epic productions, delicate cello and tuba, and many other amazingly creative arrangements.

I thought it would be fun to post a few videos from the sessions to whet the appetites of anyone following this tublog, so enjoy!

Here's video of our strings recording, featuring Kailin Yong (Kailin Yong Peace Project) on first fiddle, Tom Hagerman (DeVotchKa) on second violin, Mackenzie Gault (Flobots) on viola, Beth Rosbach (Fort Collins Symphony Orchestra) on cello, and Mike Fitzmaurice (Colcannon) on double bass.

This video starts out as a silly tour of Macy Sound Studios in Denver where piano and rhythm section were tracked, and it ends with Melissa rehearsing the instrumental track "Sharper Side" while producer Justin Peacock of The Hook Factory adjusts microphones.

And finally, here's footage of us recording the song "Every Place Is Home" at Evergroove Studios in Evergreen, CO. The bloke on 12-strings is Irish songwriter Andy White—an incredible writer and performer who has written with such greats as Peter Gabriel, Tim Finn, and Sinead O' Connor. Andy co-wrote this song with Melissa and me at the WOMAD summer school in Bath, England a couple of summers ago.

More to come, so stay tuned!

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Sun, 30 Jan 2011 23:25:00 -0800 Serenade your valentine with a TUBA-GRAM! http://moderntuba.com/serenade-your-valentine-with-a-tuba-gram http://moderntuba.com/serenade-your-valentine-with-a-tuba-gram
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Now this is getting creative with your tuba playing!

http://denver.craigslist.org/muc/2189336107.html

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Sat, 29 Jan 2011 12:39:58 -0800 ModernTuba Video of the Week! 012911 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-012911 http://moderntuba.com/moderntuba-video-of-the-week-012911

Taking the idea of the modern tuba to the extreme opposite end of the spectrum, I hereby submit the following as the (not-so) ModernTuba video of the week:

 

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Fri, 28 Jan 2011 08:39:00 -0800 To boldly go ... http://moderntuba.com/challenger-remembered http://moderntuba.com/challenger-remembered

"How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life."

      —Captain Kirk, from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

I've been a fan of science fiction since childhood. As a kid, there was no adventure more thrilling than a Star Wars movie or a television show like [the original] Battlestar Galactica.

But equal to that excitement was the thrill of sci-fi becoming real before my young eyes. Astronauts were able to go to the moon and back, satellites were being launched to voyage to the deepest parts of our solar system, and special spaceship "shuttles" were bringing travelers into space like airplanes.

As a child in Florida, this was especially amazing. I could actually go to Cape Canaveral and witness this for myself if I wanted to. I watched every flight eagerly, shuttle launch after shuttle launch on cable television, a tiny bit of my dreams coming true every time it blasted off.

And then one day in 1986, the space shuttle Challenger exploded across the skies.

It was as though part of me shattered right alongside, my dreams and hopes of the future scattershot against the cosmos. From outside my sixth grade classroom I could see the distant trails of smoke, and suddenly it was all very real to me. The fantasy was deflated; my heart was broken. I couldn't possibly recover.

Don't laugh, but this makes me think of '80s television icon Punky Brewster.

Punky

You see, there was this episode of Punky Brewster that did a wonderful job of bringing me some kind of closure. It started pre-Challenger when Punky's class is having career day and students dress up as the job they want to have when they are older. Punky comes to class dressed as an astronaut, and the entire class is abuzz with excitement.

Then days later, the explosion happens. The class is scared and distraught, & the teacher sits them in a circle to talk about their feelings. It was as though the writers reached right into my heart and put onscreen exactly every devastating thing I had been feeling about the accident. A crestfallen Punky is called crazy for still wanting to be an astronaut and ponders giving up on that dream.

But when her teacher brings Apollo astronaut Buzz Aldrin to speak with her about the courage of the Challenger crew, Punky's dreams come roaring back to life. The next day, I think every kid in my class came to school wanting to be an astronaut. And so did I.

Challenger

Now obviously, I never became an astronaut—but I did learn the important lesson to never abandon your aspirations just because of a setback, and I realized that every day and every action has not only its risks, but its potential for adventure as well.

So I ask: when faced with disaster, do you stand back, paralyzed by fear? or do you step boldly forward and embrace the pure potentiality of the unknown?

It can be a real struggle, absolutely—but today, on the 25th anniversary of the Challenger explosion, I am reminded of an imaginative little 11 year old boy in South Florida, one of his favorite television characters, and of the seven dreamers who achieved immortality amongst the stars.

Without our dreams, who are we really?


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Thu, 27 Jan 2011 22:57:00 -0800 Faerie's Aire and Death Waltz http://moderntuba.com/faeries-aire-and-death-waltz http://moderntuba.com/faeries-aire-and-death-waltz

Tuba music is just getting too darn complicated.


Faeriesarse

Of course it's just a gag—a piece of fun. Truthfully, I think our producer keeps this framed piece of music right by the recording booth just so nervous performers have something more intimidating to look at other than the microphone dangling in front of them. I think my favorite bit is where it reads, "remove valve."

Speaking of the recording booth, today was another wonderful studio day, during which I did something unheard of for your average tuba player: I sang.

That's right, I sang!

I sang background harmonies on the song "Every Place Is Home," which I co-wrote with Melissa Axel and Irish songwriter Andy White (co-writer of Peter Gabriel's "Whole Thing" and other fantastic music). Since the song has no tuba part, I knew I had to participate in some other way.

We also finished recording background vocals from the super talented Ayo Awosika, who is an incredible songwriter in her own right. We're very blessed to have her working on this project!

Finally, Melissa sang final vocals on the quirky tune "Merry-Go-Round" that I referenced yesterday (piano, vocals, tuba, harmonium, and glockenspiel), which means just a few tiny details to add in tomorrow morning, and this baby will be ready to mix!

Until then, keep practicing "Faerie's Aire and Death Waltz," and let me know when you have it down.

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Wed, 26 Jan 2011 11:37:00 -0800 Studio Time! http://moderntuba.com/studio-time http://moderntuba.com/studio-time

P47

Today we're back in the studio finishing the song "Merry-Go-Round" by Melissa Axel, which features tuba as well as piano and voice. We just finished editing (comping) and tuning the tuba part with producer Justin Peacock of The Hook Factory. Thankfully, there was practically no tuning necessary, and the track is sounding fantastic!

I'll be sharing some session videos later, so stay tuned …

Can't wait to share this record with the world!

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Sun, 23 Jan 2011 22:56:00 -0800 Once upon a time. http://moderntuba.com/once-upon-a-time http://moderntuba.com/once-upon-a-time

It should come as no big surprise to anyone reading this blog that I play the tuba, but to this day I still find myself quite surprised to be doing so.

I don't one hundred percent know why I chose the tuba or why I continue to pursue it. It must be one of those enigmatic "it chose me" situations, because I don't recall sitting down and plotting it out back in 1985.

Here's what I did know: 
  • My father was a professional drummer for a while in the '60s. By the time I came along, it was just a hobby he pursued in our den, playing along to records or just pounding out some solo Samba or Jazz or Rock rhythms. I don't think I've ever seen him perform with any kind of group.
  • My older brother (3.5 years my senior) tried learning the clarinet in middle school for a year—and seemed to hate every second of it, though nowadays he says otherwise. I'm certain it was a very harrowing year. It was for my ears, at the very least.
  • My musical interests were mostly rooted in the top forty '80s tunes played on the radio: The Human League, The Police, Thomas Dolby, and scores of synthy hits like "The Safety Dance" and "Mr. Roboto."
So the tuba? Really?

None of my history prior to the sixth grade seemed to musically add up the tuba. To me, the only "heavy metal" I was interested in by that point was a new Quiet Riot or Twisted Sister song, and those don't even really count as heavy metal.

But then one day I found myself in the middle school band director's office, faced with the most terrifying question: "So, what instrument do you want to play?"

Believe it or not, I hadn't really thought about it.

Furthermore, I was already two weeks behind. I only transferred into the class because my two best friends were in it. They were already learning notes and sounds on their chosen instruments, playing hardcore tunes like "Hot Cross Buns" and "Mary Had A Little Lamb" from their super professional looking music books. How could I possibly catch up?

I was practically frozen with indecision. Should I choose the sax so I could wail like that guy in Huey Lewis and the News? No, my friend had chosen that one already. What about the drums? But could I ever live up to my dad's expectations? I'd already lived through my brother's squeaky attempts at ear torture, so clarinet was out. There were already too many boys with trumpets, flute was too girly, the trombone was too weird looking, the French horn was too French, and were oboes even real instruments?

The music teacher was a large, sweaty, and very bearded Italian man with round glasses, and he was becoming increasingly impatient. The moment had come, it was time to choose.

And then there it was, sitting on the floor just a few feet behind him, a giant horn clad in gleaming silver. I remember thinking, "Well, it is larger than a trumpet." A quick panicked look to the band floor revealed an ensemble full of every kind of brass, woodwind, and percussion player possible, chomping at the bit to make music—except for one major instrument.

Swallowing hard, I looked back at the band director and stammered out, "The ... tuba?"

Seconds later I had a giant hunk of heavy cold metal in my hands and was being ushered out of the office to my place near the back row.

So, was it divine revelation or just the result of a very complex series of subconscious decisions by a ten year old boy just looking to fit in? Sometimes answers come to you in the most unexpected ways, and I guess along the way you've just gotta learn to stop questioning them, lest you spoil the magic.

Photo
[Pictured: ModernTuba, circa 1987, two years playing by this point]

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